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There’s a whole wave of articles the past few years decrying “hookup culture,” and especially this idea of women lowering their standards for sex just so they can get something with someone. But the reason we find casual sex so tempting is that we grew up in a society where getting laid is never that simple, even with, say, a sugar daddy. Even for women under the age of 35, it’s still increasingly difficult to meet guys who just want to be in a committed relationship with a girlfriend, who don’t just want to grab a quickie.
And guess what? You’re still going to be taken more seriously if you’re not sleeping around. If you’ve been dating for a while and you’re still not taken seriously by someone you’re dating, does that mean you’re just not interesting enough? Your lack of casual sex doesn’t mean anything about your integrity or your character. And people will be more impressed by a successful woman who’s got her shit together and isn’t “trash” if they see you as someone with a social life who’s doing something other than chasing dick around.
But casual sex isn’t about people who are “doing it” being “trash,” or as the word implies, “low class,” or “uneducated.” It’s about people who are in casual relationships. Sure, the women who “go out” with men on dating apps aren’t necessarily having casual sex, but they’re probably doing a whole bunch of other things that are making them undesirable as partners, and probably even as friends.
So if dating apps aren’t necessarily good for people’s social lives or their romances, then why are so many young women choosing them for their hookups? Are we really so naïve as to think that all we have to do is shut down Tinder and say no to Grindr and we’ll enter a world where casual sex isn’t what we want?
I don’t think so. I think dating apps have changed a lot over the past few years, for better and for worse. Whether this is good or bad is up to you. You have to remember though that one of the key benefits of dating apps is that you get to choose who you’re meeting, so think
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When it comes to casual sex, make sure you know what the risks are. ‘A brief hookup with someone known to you has a negligible risk of causing harm, medically speaking,’ says Dr. Trish Kotwal. That’s because there is no exchange of bodily fluids during a casual hookup. When it comes to penile-vaginal sex, however, it can be a different matter.
Vaginal discharge is caused by conditions such as vaginal thrush (yeast infections), pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, or inflammation of the vagina. In some cases, the discharge isn’t caused by an underlying medical condition, but because of stress. Kotwal says that it’s common for women to blame the discharge on “penis wine,” when actually it’s a common occurrence. “Any pelvic discharge is of concern,” says Dr. Jennifer Gunter.
That’s why it’s so important to see a healthcare provider to rule out sexual health concerns, get tested for STDs, and keep an eye out for infections.
The risk of becoming pregnant through sexual contact isn’t the only concern that comes with casual sex. While it’s relatively easy to catch an STD through casual sex, Kotwal says that most STDs aren’t noticed until it is already too late. If the person you’re sleeping with is infected, their body could become severely ill. So you don’t want to risk finding yourself in that position.
That’s why it’s so important to use condoms and birth control during a casual hookup.
“If you are sexually active without a condom, you increase your risk for sexually transmitted infections,” says Dr. Darlene Hayashi. Kotwal adds that using lubricants during sexual activity does not reduce the risk of pregnancy.
Taking in the sun while you’re on casual sex is definitely not recommended. Hayashi explains that unprotected skin is more likely to become infected because there is “less effective skin barrier protection.”
It’s also a good idea to speak with the person before your first sexual encounter so you know what they’re comfortable with. For example, you may want to find out if you can use a condom or if you need to be on birth control. This way, if you get caught using your birth control during a one-night stand, you’re not in a situation